E-mail Gil

Insults and Sarcasms

·  I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
·  Does your train of thought have a caboose?
·  I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
·  Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
·  A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
·  Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
·  Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
·  I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
·  Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
·  If I throw a stick, will you leave?
·  You!... Off my planet!
·  Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
·  And which dwarf are you?
·  If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
·  And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
·  Do I look like a people person?
·  This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
·  I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
·  I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
·  Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
·  Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
·  Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
·  A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
·  A PBS mind in an MTV world.
·  Allow me to introduce my selves.
·  Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
·  Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
·  See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
·  It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
·  Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
·  I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
·  Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
·  Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
·  Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
·  I plead contemporary insanity.
·  How do I set a laser printer to stun?
·  Meandering to a different drummer.
·  The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the outside.
·  May your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant -- all over their faces.
·  May your children be so famous every policeman knows them.
·  May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous Zones.

To contact Gil just click here to e-mail.

Updated: April 14, 2010

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